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Perspectives

Fears and inferiorities

Ok most people that know me on social media somewhat knows my reasons for dismissing feminism as a woman supporting movement. Quite the opposite it sows a lot of hate and injustice among women in modern days. But it doesn’t need to be so 

Nevertheless it is so simply because there are issues that haven’t been correctly addressed in terms of justice and how history have formed todays society. But I am not gonna go deep in history lessons now as many of us actually know the facts and the truth about it all already. It’s  not really that we don’t know but that we know and won’t speak about what we know that is the problem. 

However it takes a lot of courage and lingual skills and techniques to adress this sensitive issues. No one wants to speak about such tough subjects as the hate between women.  And certainly no-one want to admit the truth or even be conflicted with uncomfortable facts when pretending  to not know is an option. Nor men or women want to face their guilt voluntarily really.  

However, I have noticed that men tend to be a little more direct even when they refuse to see the full perspectives or agree on the issue I am about to adress now. Which is the hate between women and in particularly between different races. Of course this differences between women makes it easier to discus with men since men are more interested in the positive aspects that benefit them. Anyhow it also make it easier to address the problem thereby and progress forth to some solution or to a higher consciousness and perspectives. That is what progress is. To increase your perspective and thereby your progress to better position. And it is after all progress that modern feminist women want inorder to achieve equality right? Then how can that be done by totally denying truth?  

As a christian woman I don’t honestly believe women and men are the same and so how can they be equal? They were created to complete each others weaknesses and strengths not become competitors. To me it is the most strange thing to resemble a man as woman. In fact I don’t think I compete with anyone at all. I have too many of my own goals and struggles to do so. And so I guess I tend to miss that not all are as free minded as some of us are and easily feel the threat when the truth happen to be outspoken by the likes of me.

As a christian woman it is not my job to degrade feminism even when I at times joke about it because I don’t agree with it. Simply because it won’t solve women’s issues. Because change requires discomfort by addressing truths and above all sacrifices. And in todays world women or feminists are not aiming to sacrifice or address the full truth with all its discomforts. So how can feminism reap what it haven’t been sowing? But I know of a savior that have sacrificed more than enough to save men and women’s pain and injustices. Unfortunately modern women are not interested in this savior at all and will ridicule it rather than understand it. They are fully capable and want to save themselves by their own means, muscles and power. 

Yet something just doesn’t add upp. I know women after all are spiritual beings, spiritual leaders and nurturers of our world but too busy competing with men on irrelevant things. A challenge they never will win. My message or point in all of this is therefore  not to disempower but to share my perspective in how women can win it by using the right means. Women’s natural strengths and gifts are more spiritual or psychological than physical. The injustice that have been created for them by the aid in their own bitterness and resentments of the hurt they got from years of abuse from ignorant men.  

So I am writing this post to help you sisters address the problem because the only way to come out of hell is through it. And since I have been through hell my self I know the owner of that place and how cruel that spirit is and how possessive it can be. I know the tools I ve used to come out of there a little bured but unhurt and untouched from the evil. Yes, I tell you I walked literary through ”the valley of death” alone and with only my faith and my tools. It was and I know it will be a challenge for you too but, that’s also all it is. That you can and will win it. The revolution happens from the inside when you face the naked truth for yourselves sisters. So I ve listed 5 supporting points to help and be guided by here below

  1. Be your self. Speak honestly and address your challenges to your self, your partner or family and friends
  2. Speak truth and face your own misdeeds towards other women. Don’t hide them and be cautious not to speak only out of hurts. But be proud of your self for knowing your strength, value and genuine relations to other genuine women.
  3. Dear ask for forgiveness (privately) and make necessary changes you need for yourself and force will work with you not against you. Because what you are against is against you and what you support supports you. Remember that that’s a rule of the universe. Start genuinely supporting someone who needs support not inorder to get praised for it but because you want to support that person from your heart. 
  4. Stop expecting men or the patriarchy or hold anyone on the opposite sex responsible to the issues you face. They know already but they also know that you don’t care enough about it your self obviously. Otherwise you would ve made a different decision. The problems you experience are there for you to develop coping skills with them or eliminate them not to dwell in them
  5. Do not compare your life with anyone  nor men or other women unless it is to help others to reach to a better level or better yet to at least your own level and know that by doing so you will automatically move up many levels of respects for your self even when no one notices of it. Trust me on this. No ones praises or confidence in you shines better than your own self confidence at the end of the day. Integrity is about self value 

Trust the process and your intuition. What is right is not always comfortable but it feels right and won’t hurt you only challenge you. 

Everything in life fixes itself when one fix oneself first. So sisters fix yourselves and you will fix the world including men by adding your own fixed strong perspectives in it. Stop trying to fix men so they can fix the world for you. They are not capable for this at all. You will only be adding more fire to the burn in hell. Heal and mend your self instead and you will heal and mend plenty more in this world 

If you need one to one coaching to cope with fear or inferiority issues that a lot of women deal with due to being undervalued or mistreated by men or other women contact me and inform me how I can contact you for a free trial session. 

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A womans gowns and her transitions

Time to introduce my second couture gown. This dress and I have a very special bond I must say. We have gone through so many transitions together. It hasn’t only gone through a whole lot of changes, but a few re-designs and endless re-fittings too. Keeping my time busy until late nights sometimes. It has angered and exhausted me at times but also kept my mind off a lot of mindless stress and made me super focus.

The top part of it is strictly stiff and belts up the upper body holding it in place similar to a corset. So you definitely wont be slouching wearing it or else… But still I managed to get some elasticity at the closing in the back to compromise for the harsh strictness. (When it’s not nearby and can’t hear me, I call this dress many names and sometimes I feel it kind of made itself out to existence ….. through me sort of….not in a creepy way but ……..you know? ….never mind….)

Well it fit me very well in the end if I say so myself …and is definitely one of the favourites, not only because it’s been better readjusted but also because during the process it was being changed and redesigned it gave me so many other ideas. And yes, off course it can be easily made to individually fit you perfectly no matter your shape. But be warned, it will demand from you to hold your posture or else.  Anyway, with this strictly elegant outfit, I would like to greet you all women out there a very happy international women’s day!

Specially all those strong, honest, caring and warm women in our world. In fact why don’t I just totally grab this opportunity to dedicate this piece of motivation to you all now that march 8th coincides so timely for me to do so? ……So I did

Well, by now I think those who know me know also that I have not only questioned feminism as a political movement but kind of abandoned it really, if I have to be honest. Off course there are many women I look up to and respect whatever they call themselves or wherever in the world they are. In fact the more I know myself the more of them I recognise in me and vice versa. What most of these women have in common is their genuine love, honesty, passion, devotion and respect for the rights of their own and others. When I say love, I mean real genuine love almost like a mothers love. That’s almost what it takes for something to be genuine. It requires LOVE. Therefore it is most natural that this kind of bond starts with your “loved” ones or those you honestly care about because it simply is real then.

You know, your mom, sister, daughter, best friend, cousin, aunt, granny or neighbour ans. You start there because you will naturally have true empathy or love for those you care about and truly support. It doesn’t have to be a biological family it could be those females you know have your back and you theirs despite any differences. When majority of our bonds are grounded on a genuine and truthful base like this then it is easier to extend that kind of bond or love further to greater circles.

This kind of relation between women is not about competition or having an externally selected role models pushed up their throats. Specially those selected by men or their system to make women compete with one another for their attention. Nor is it about men influencing women to serve their political or other agendas first. No. It is not about women who have harden so much that they no longer relate to other women in a healthy way either.

It is not about emulating men, or hating them. It is not about them at all. It is genuinely and simply about us and our own love and care for our selves really. Otherwise it will just be hollow words just like how the movement “feminism” serves in politics today. And we all know how that went…? So changing is an opportunity we cannot miss on at this stage right? We have to redesign our strategies and polices from the inner core. Change does not have to come through politicians,  religions, aliens or what have you. It comes through all of us individually. In fact my humble opinion is that it is even better so than in any other ways. Therefore, my simple advice to us all is to first be true to our selves and those we care about.

Start there. Simple but honest and extend genuinely out towards others you get to know and happen to care about. I know most of us do this quite generally already but really make effort to recognise situations when you are uncomfortable and kind of struggling to be true even though you don’t have to. Because it is that precise moment that is critical for change. That moment you courageously opt to openly speak or act from the truth you know, is the moment you have made change, not only to yourself but to us all. This is how we change and progress individually or and collectively. Go ahead and experiment for your self. You will feel the fear at first and you will also feel the rush of power running through you like adrenalin after wards. It is called life. Live!

Otherwise you are only echoing and wasting your time and fooling your self of the life you’ve been given. Be aware who you and your true friends are and which ones you should put further back. Then adjust your time, efforts and energy accordingly. Time is the most valuable thing there is in this world. This is not about being un-social but about prioritising how you spend the precious time we call life. Our loved ones are called “loved ones” because they are most deserving of our time and not only because we “think” we love them. They are a definition of the person we are due to the memories we make with them through our times together.

Most of us don’t realise this until we come to understand that we may not have much more time left. But while you are alive you have always options, chances and possibilities. Use it wisely and lovingly. At least then everything you chose, chanced on and made possible will have mattered because it was what YOU wanted not what you been mislead to do. Even more importantly, it will continue to truly matter to those you genuinely loved even after you are gone   

We all know women that have made profound influence in our lives. And most of us know it is strong women with big hearts and kind souls. Or those loyal cheerleaders that truly want us to make it. Wether it is our mothers, daughters champions or idols the bond is based on genuine love and respect at the core even when conflicts may still be partly in the picture. We needed and need those women in our lives for us to learn to love our selves from inside. And we really need to do that. Love our selves that is. No need to hold men alone responsible for this. Men may love (or hate) us and may even be naturally the leaders in our world, society and homes, but we still need to know what we expect from ourselves and from them first in order to influence, change or replace their leadership in companion with or without them.

It is equally important to exclude, distance or leave the toxic women you have in your life if you know you cant help them. My tip is to advise them where to get help and leave them to sort themselves. They will eventually learn and may thank you. If they don’t then you are still better off really. Your total wellbeing is not only good for you it is good for all women and girls even for the toxic ones. Your actions will be showing them a better alternative and how it is done so keep your courage and move on towards your adventure. Our future is dependant in everything you and all of us DO. Not in the old dusty opinions we safely hold. So go out there and battle some fear out of your life. Kick it’s lying and annoying ass

Well, this was roughly what I wanted to share to add to our collective progress as women and I hope we all can DO little things to change our individual lives and thereby shift the inequality that many women (in particular feminists) seem to experience. By changing and redesigning or reconstructing our own lives we are raising the bar bit by bit all of us together each and every time. This is how we genuinely will bring fort equality naturally and voluntarily independent of politicians or their dodgy pretences.

If you feel that this text was helpful or empowering then I hope you share it so more girls and women can find courage to truly be themselves. And off course if you disagree or want to forward your critique, you are welcome to drop a line below.

     

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Yes to humanism! But what actually is feminism?

Yes to humanism! But what actually is feminism?

Feminism is all about women’s rights isn’t it? And although we have come a long way in the development process for equality between the sexes, one doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that only a minmal few carefully chosen women are put in privileged positions today while the rest live under constant pressure or are totally ignored. So is feminism about liberating all women or only the very few chosen ones?  Humanism on the other hand is comprehensible and easier to understand. You either have empathy or you don’t. You are either a humanist or you are not and your actions will quickly reveal you of your claim to be one or not (although we are are all in different developmental stage off course). But the important aspect of humanism in contrast to feminism is that it is about “doing” the right thing that most of us instinctively feel deep in our core to “do”. Another definition of humanism is the realisation of the fact that all humans no matter what race, sex, lifestyle or religion are equally worth at the bottom. Well at least that is the ideal that we as society hope to achieve and yes in my opinion we  still have a whole lot more to learn and apply to our lives to obtain this. But the concept of humanism is still much clearer to use as a common goal for all. When I compare these two ideas/philosophies I still find that humanism is a much more helpful tool to use as a compass in actually attaining the ultimate equality between the sexes which feminism cant seem to bring.  The history of humanism is more established and genuinely rooted deeply in our societies as well as supported by law constitutions almost all over the world even when injustices still happen  

As a mother to a boy and a girl myself I try to constantly be aware that I give both my kids a fair chance and encouragement to realize their purpose and goals in life until they can do that for themselves. It is never to early to start engaging or helping them figure out what and how they want to spend their lives here on earth. I do know it is relatively easy not to worry so much and relax a tad bit about their life plans when they are so young. But the sooner you bring routines, order and discipline in the household the less conflicts and drama is my experience. This is probably more or less ( and maybe better or worse) like how almost all modern families carry on their lives as families I assume?

Back to my question about feminism. How does feminism as a movement serve equality to humans here today and in our families? A predictable answer is that it helps the female in a family household to find strength and be empowered by being inspired of other strong females or role models right? And since women have been and still are repressed by the patriarchal structural power, feminism undoubtedly is still serving as an ”anti patriarchal structure”. Metaphorically speaking this resembles much like initiating  a war between the sexes really. The idea is of feminism is a good intension initiated from some very courageous women in different eras of history, by which our world is greatly improved today. As a woman who battled and still battles for my own freedom from previous controlling relationships, societies expectation of me ans, I too feel the need to question my self of my role in this world as a female as well. Which I believe is the starting point for most of the feminists in history too before they geared up to battle in big or small ways and deal with their own privat matters that turned out to be an official issue in regards to equality for all women.

These women in history simply bumped into hinderances in their private lives which demanded their courage hence dealt with the issues that they shared in common with other females perhaps without knowing they were changing the games in the system. Together or individually they managed to push boundaries and limitations. To call them feminists now in my opinion is to limit and reduce these heroines down to what have become some sort of a fancy label that ”feminism” is today. ”Heroines” sounds more relevant and appropriate, at least it doesn’t put them in a box. A box that one can kidnap or buy into for seeming to appear as politically correct. This behavior is very apparent in most political campaigns and structural systems that rather talk the talk of feminism but don’t deliver any significant changes or progressive results.

Other confusing contribution to this box called feminism is off course men who call themselves feminists which really is another heading to be discussed separately in another article that I most probably will write about here soon. But I just want to point out here the ambiguous and blurred picture that feminist men add to blur the movement even further.  I understand and like many welcome the role of supporting males to the struggle women face but to call oneself a feminist as a man sounds confusing and sends warning signals to the defense department of my awareness. And the signal is repetitiv but mildly alarming me to be careful with a chap like this.  What I am trying to illustrate in words is really the difference between what the female heroines of the past did and sacrificed versus what we modern women/people are not doing. Instead of actually contributing to the movement (box) by helping in small or big ways many often just stripp the movement off its glory for own agendas and profits in order to appear as though they are

This is unfortunately what I am observing about feminism today. The thirsty need to own, associate or milk out whatever possible of the label called feminism. Few wants to give for it, to struggle for it but all want to get the glory from it. This is so apparent in our modern society both among individuals and political systems of today. It has become a hot trend that you show at social gatherings and events.  A desperate attempt to appear as more feminist than any other political party, company or individual is considered status issue.

In many political systems its gone so far that maintaining the illusion of equality by choosing a few obedient women will even discriminate men as well as other races with more merits. These chosen few womens appearance as ”role models” or ”proof” of maintaining equality in the system is a bait for younger girls to do anything for the men still in power. Contrary to the original idea of the feminism movement, now the movement kidnapped/bought of by some fake feminist patriarchal power is yet controlling women but in slyer ways using the most desperat ones

This is done mostly through manipulation or corrupted individuals coming bout to agreement in the name of ?…… yes feminism!. So instead of achieving, earning and owning their own glory women now not only serve as puppets but also mislead an entire young generation of women. to waist their lives appeasing men and being robbed of their free will and own power. Completely contradicting the values of feminism yet running under the shiny label of feminism it self. These acts of traitor-ship and double-morally conning one self by conning the masses are not only ruining the movement itself but also overlooking other competent and potential women who most likely would be better leaders for future generations. How is that equality?

An obvious example of this can be perceived in the coming US presidential vote with Hilary Clinton. Needles to say that I much prefer Clinton against Trump, but I can’t help to wonder how many other competent female leader have been ignored in favor of one woman that the system managed to present to the voters? But even more importantly this coning behaviour in politics and in general population reflects how far behind the work of equality actually is in reality and everyday life, as a pose to the classic feminism rhetorics we all hear.  This is considered to liberate women today?