Time to introduce my second couture gown. This dress and I have a very special bond I must say. We have gone through so many transitions together. It hasn’t only gone through a whole lot of changes, but a few re-designs and endless re-fittings too. Keeping my time busy until late nights sometimes. It has angered and exhausted me at times but also kept my mind off a lot of mindless stress and made me super focus.
The top part of it is strictly stiff and belts up the upper body holding it in place similar to a corset. So you definitely wont be slouching wearing it or else… But still I managed to get some elasticity at the closing in the back to compromise for the harsh strictness. (When it’s not nearby and can’t hear me, I call this dress many names and sometimes I feel it kind of made itself out to existence ….. through me sort of….not in a creepy way but ……..you know? ….never mind….)
Well it fit me very well in the end if I say so myself …and is definitely one of the favourites, not only because it’s been better readjusted but also because during the process it was being changed and redesigned it gave me so many other ideas. And yes, off course it can be easily made to individually fit you perfectly no matter your shape. But be warned, it will demand from you to hold your posture or else. Anyway, with this strictly elegant outfit, I would like to greet you all women out there a very happy international women’s day!
Specially all those strong, honest, caring and warm women in our world. In fact why don’t I just totally grab this opportunity to dedicate this piece of motivation to you all now that march 8th coincides so timely for me to do so? ……So I did
Well, by now I think those who know me know also that I have not only questioned feminism as a political movement but kind of abandoned it really, if I have to be honest. Off course there are many women I look up to and respect whatever they call themselves or wherever in the world they are. In fact the more I know myself the more of them I recognise in me and vice versa. What most of these women have in common is their genuine love, honesty, passion, devotion and respect for the rights of their own and others. When I say love, I mean real genuine love almost like a mothers love. That’s almost what it takes for something to be genuine. It requires LOVE. Therefore it is most natural that this kind of bond starts with your “loved” ones or those you honestly care about because it simply is real then.
You know, your mom, sister, daughter, best friend, cousin, aunt, granny or neighbour ans. You start there because you will naturally have true empathy or love for those you care about and truly support. It doesn’t have to be a biological family it could be those females you know have your back and you theirs despite any differences. When majority of our bonds are grounded on a genuine and truthful base like this then it is easier to extend that kind of bond or love further to greater circles.
This kind of relation between women is not about competition or having an externally selected role models pushed up their throats. Specially those selected by men or their system to make women compete with one another for their attention. Nor is it about men influencing women to serve their political or other agendas first. No. It is not about women who have harden so much that they no longer relate to other women in a healthy way either.
It is not about emulating men, or hating them. It is not about them at all. It is genuinely and simply about us and our own love and care for our selves really. Otherwise it will just be hollow words just like how the movement “feminism” serves in politics today. And we all know how that went…? So changing is an opportunity we cannot miss on at this stage right? We have to redesign our strategies and polices from the inner core. Change does not have to come through politicians, religions, aliens or what have you. It comes through all of us individually. In fact my humble opinion is that it is even better so than in any other ways. Therefore, my simple advice to us all is to first be true to our selves and those we care about.
Start there. Simple but honest and extend genuinely out towards others you get to know and happen to care about. I know most of us do this quite generally already but really make effort to recognise situations when you are uncomfortable and kind of struggling to be true even though you don’t have to. Because it is that precise moment that is critical for change. That moment you courageously opt to openly speak or act from the truth you know, is the moment you have made change, not only to yourself but to us all. This is how we change and progress individually or and collectively. Go ahead and experiment for your self. You will feel the fear at first and you will also feel the rush of power running through you like adrenalin after wards. It is called life. Live!
Otherwise you are only echoing and wasting your time and fooling your self of the life you’ve been given. Be aware who you and your true friends are and which ones you should put further back. Then adjust your time, efforts and energy accordingly. Time is the most valuable thing there is in this world. This is not about being un-social but about prioritising how you spend the precious time we call life. Our loved ones are called “loved ones” because they are most deserving of our time and not only because we “think” we love them. They are a definition of the person we are due to the memories we make with them through our times together.
Most of us don’t realise this until we come to understand that we may not have much more time left. But while you are alive you have always options, chances and possibilities. Use it wisely and lovingly. At least then everything you chose, chanced on and made possible will have mattered because it was what YOU wanted not what you been mislead to do. Even more importantly, it will continue to truly matter to those you genuinely loved even after you are gone
We all know women that have made profound influence in our lives. And most of us know it is strong women with big hearts and kind souls. Or those loyal cheerleaders that truly want us to make it. Wether it is our mothers, daughters champions or idols the bond is based on genuine love and respect at the core even when conflicts may still be partly in the picture. We needed and need those women in our lives for us to learn to love our selves from inside. And we really need to do that. Love our selves that is. No need to hold men alone responsible for this. Men may love (or hate) us and may even be naturally the leaders in our world, society and homes, but we still need to know what we expect from ourselves and from them first in order to influence, change or replace their leadership in companion with or without them.
It is equally important to exclude, distance or leave the toxic women you have in your life if you know you cant help them. My tip is to advise them where to get help and leave them to sort themselves. They will eventually learn and may thank you. If they don’t then you are still better off really. Your total wellbeing is not only good for you it is good for all women and girls even for the toxic ones. Your actions will be showing them a better alternative and how it is done so keep your courage and move on towards your adventure. Our future is dependant in everything you and all of us DO. Not in the old dusty opinions we safely hold. So go out there and battle some fear out of your life. Kick it’s lying and annoying ass
Well, this was roughly what I wanted to share to add to our collective progress as women and I hope we all can DO little things to change our individual lives and thereby shift the inequality that many women (in particular feminists) seem to experience. By changing and redesigning or reconstructing our own lives we are raising the bar bit by bit all of us together each and every time. This is how we genuinely will bring fort equality naturally and voluntarily independent of politicians or their dodgy pretences.
If you feel that this text was helpful or empowering then I hope you share it so more girls and women can find courage to truly be themselves. And off course if you disagree or want to forward your critique, you are welcome to drop a line below.