We all make mistakes no one is perfect and so it is normal to think people are as nice as you are and act nice back. But reality is a lot of them are nice in order to take advantage out of your genuine niceness. While many more try to hide their shortcomings by being extra nice. Others will abuse nice politeness so they can keep ignore you as well as burden you with the consequences of their ignorance, negligent misdeeds or unprofessional decisions on your behalf. Don’t be fooled by nice words only, make sure you check and double check facts and results that go along. Above all, know their purpose and intention. Always do a background search and seek the truths behind the niceness. Preferably before you totally immerse into their game with your head in first
There are many ways to cut down on mistakes and speed up the way to better odds and successful outcomes in life in whatever endeavors you struggle with. Today I will share with you some of my own intuitional insights as well as empirical experiences of such life lessons. On how to lead your self out of disadvantageous circumstances that hold you back from achieving more and better results or ”luck”. Yes in my world ”luck” is halfway self made and halfway supernatural coincidence perhaps. But be sure that luck too can be produced until the supernatural occur. You need genuine commitment, pure actions, a sharp mind or what I call intuitional inner guidance to make it occur basically. When the timing is right which it always is for the prepared ones the equation is called luck
See, there are many small, very tiny little details we miss when we are making mistakes and end up in a bad decision. Oftentimes we tend not to know of these very small details. Open communication even within only your self is vital inorder to adress them. Otherwise they end up as expensive lessons for you to repeat so you think it is reality when it isn’t. Most people don’t even know how they fail or mistake until much later afterwards. They have no clues that they might have been misguided to make them. Clarity and forthrightness are the only vaccination against this problem but sometimes you just have to make mistakes to understand the consequences.
The problem is that even then when they happen many people don’t want to be aware of their mistakes let alone recognize them. But it is highly advisable to thoroughly analyze them just as a surgeon does with a tissue sample in the lab in order to have the smal information that have great implication on the overall health. So don’t skip the opportunity to study and recognize them
As you go along into being better and better you will notice it is the smallest things that makes the most differences in terms of the bigger results you want. The better you get the more your enemies will be at work to pick up and record even your minute errors or whatever you missed behind. So it is good to have your perspective clear and your communication straight from the start within your circle. With well developed points or arguments to back up your decisions. At times your intuition alarms you very loudly for you to avoid some automatic impulses or habits right in time, so pay attention to the gut feelings also when making important decisions based on the small stuff.
Don’t listen to your pride or ego at moments like that. Stay rather calm and listen within. And when you have summoned enough learnings and confidence you will start to notice the tiny little bumps of warnings signs automatically everywhere thereafter while most easily miss them. They kind of give you that ”fishy” feeling about ”something that just doesn’t add upp” in the midst of the perfectly ”nice” appearing moments or places. Even when you yourself have prepared very careful and feel confident.
That is the perfect time to investigate immediately by just asking questions ”nicely” and calmly and pretty soon you will find out that someone despite the ”niceness”, friendly or presentable appearance have not been as careful, as prepared or as hardworking as you have been with the details. They may be ”appearing” to be. Sort of playing a role or what I sometimes call simply being ”nicely fake”. Not necessarily consciously but because they don’t know any other way to be perhaps. Oftentimes they don’t know themselves about this. Or they think that you don’t notice these small things or care about them because they themself lack that special care and attention to the details as you have learned to do through your hard work. You see?! No struggle is in vain in life
When you discover a moment or situation like this it is crucial and obviously the best time to make a total stop, a full U turn, if it is possible for you to do that. Or halt and investigate at least, do’t make any further steps forth ignoring your gut feelings and find an exit immediately if there are any dangerous consequences involved. In my own personal case one of the people that I put trust and responsibilities towards actually was about to commit a disaster decision on my families behalf but thankfully we immediately got straight to the points early enough and adress the problems before any mistakes were committed in this case.
In a previous case however I myself had been to ill, exhausted and naiv prior to the decision and therefore not as clear, confident and sharp as I normally am. Instead I depended on my trust towards my associate that was ment to decide on my behalf and ended up with an unpleasant outcome. It became a sour lesson off-course but not without being juiced out of all its learning values for a next time. In this latest scenario we started actually by ditching the small talk and overflow of politeness or fear of being real and raw by me being intrusive and decisive
I appreciated the initiative taken by my new associate to get to the bare truths immediately. We straighten out most of the minutes questions and both felt comfortable after getting rid of the misleading and suspicion creating politeness. Specially in Sweden where we have this ”dis ease” of being polite almost to the levels of a mental illness standard. We are programed almost to intentionally miss the dangers to our own lives.
We keep quiet due to fear of being socially outcasted. We ignore our gut feelings warning us because we want to melt in within the larger system and keep our day jobs or because we are afraid no one will support us. Regardless, straight talk is the best kind of talk to any dangers ahead. Just like the gut feelings inside you that call your undivided attention by worrying you in order to seek more clarity. Politeness does rather the opposite. Make you play a role and thereby forget or miss smaller fractions of reality. I’am not saying be impolite and to cultivate an ugly behavior at all. I am saying keep being nice, keep it short, question, check facts and above all listen to your guts. For more information on how to learn to listen to your guts and your intuition, I once again recommend my book ”SYFTET” or ”THE PURPOSE”
To me it is important that I feel trust and honesty in order to have that team spirit within my circle. Be it business partners, customers, friends, family ans. I don’t do ”just buisness” mode unless I have too off course. But when it comes to creating longsighted trustful relations within my group I don’t work that way of the Swedes. Which is why I have left my hired jobs and started to pave other ways of more genuine kind of economical security for my self. And off-course my enemies works very hard to destroy my paths in every way they can, if only they could? Why my own honesty and openness inside is important I have come to understand, not only for me, my health and immediate family but also inorder to stay ahead of those that don’t like my paths and therefore win over them and achieves more successes. The thing about honesty is that when you are honest you kind of create this uncomfortable aura of surrounding around you. Specially amongst those that have dishonest intentions so they sort of reveal themselves unavoidably and unintentionally.
But the greatest about honesty is that it can also trigger those that want to be more honest to speak their minds so they finally adress the elephant in the room and handle the issues, problems or whatever the deal is you are meant to be co-working about. So self honesty is the bast defense against others dishonesty basically. Everything starts with your self first. That is how you lead yourself and others in the most effective way out of the dangers of fakeness or ignorance of others politely
Because people are always ready to project even the tiniest of their own failures on to you if they know or feel you are ill prepared or unaware of them. Start by trusting your guts and staying real, honest and open, to yourself first so you don’t miss the tiny stuff that will give you clues as to what you should be questioning in a situation where everything looks fine but that gut feeling is unsettled within you. As a spiritual person that I am I see this insight as God leading us away from our enemies this way.
As an analyzing human (without the spirituality) I see it as a smart and clean way of sharpening your own tool ”the brain” to detect the frauds and traps ahead. When you have less clutter in the brain, your mental eye see clearer too basically. As Jesus also once said (religiously or ironically enough). Anyhow, For those you lead wether it is only your own self, your children, your business, jobb, project, court cases or your association group and other circles, start with addressing the small odd stuff that worries you. And don’t let others mislead or convince you to be fooled by shallow niceness. Stand in the truth so you can better see the little traps, hurdles or untruths hiding in the background waiting for their chance to drag you back to their low levels