Yeeay! The good news is that the label/logo for my brand is now fully registered by the PRV authorities. As you can see, it is finally ready for use on all my own products within fashion and interior design. Yippie!
To balance this exciting news I also have some slightly less pleasant ones. This is off course the uncomfortable but very necessary topic I am about to air out for discussion today. 11th. of may is spooking around the corner and as you can tell from the heading of this blog and some contents in the picture you can correctly conclude the issue I have chosen? For my non Swedish readers, I just want to explain that the 11th. may is a day honouring a chocolate ball which also is attached to a lot of racism. Sooo,,,,,,,excuse the noise I make while I swallow some saliva due to the awkwardness and let’s nervously begin shall we?
Well, since I am a black woman who lives in Sweden right in the middle of a white dominated population, I seem to have involuntarily become an expert on how to silence a crowd of white people simply by entering a gathering of them. Stop laughing 🙁 or actually laugh we should do that more openly. I tend to do that on my own a lot anyway. I can’t help it. I know there is a line for everyone’s sensitivity and I respect that. But too often, it seems that this line have been defined by others than by our selves, which is why I defy it every now and then?
Like many in the diasporas this has been my experience ever since my family and I moved to this country really. I mean the awkwardness of being the only or one of few black children in a sea of white people. And it baffles me today when I think how very bizarre it is that now as an adult I have become so unbothered of others silly opinions. Specially when as a child I was quiet as a mouse most of the time.
It seemed that most black people or other foreigners I know kind of mysteriously developed a way of melting in and adjust better than I had in childhood I thought? They just simply seemed to accommodate to the Swedish norms better and had no problem throwing in little gentle (literally) “white” lies here and there in the dialogs while I struggled and suffocated like a fish out of water. It was horrid really. Despite the fact that I was very creative, I just couldn’t pretend on demand even when I usually often appeared to be relatively socially adapted
I had a serious problem with the inability to deny truths. I couldn’t do socially gentle “white” lies no matter how colourfully they were presented to me. Especially if there were no incentives for choosing them. It’s not that I never lied as a child I did. Like most children. Oftentimes I knew why I lied too. But why would I do that continuously for no advantageous or purposeful reason? As a grown up I understood why some would do this off course. The fear of being socially excluded is so scary when you are an adult than when you are a child I believe. So it did make sense later
Anyway I could still not lie to myself as well as everybody else even when I grew up, but I did learn to shut my mouth more often. In my silence I could clearly observe people slip into “business as usual” mode of engaging in the everyday theatre of what is the construction of human social interactions. The roles and scripts are so predictable that as small children most of us mimic them naturally in our pretend plays, remember? Children are very good at imitating grown folks and are our mirrors pretty often.
Anyway in my quietness, it became easier to see through the unspoken languages that we humans have. Such as attitudes, hierarchal orders in society ans. While I silently learned to choke less and less in the background as a young adult, I learn to realise that not everybody could/wanted to see what I still saw behind these verbal scenes.
Luckily I had my lively artistic creative side that allowed me to exhale and be myself again after a day of common human pretences. Now that I am reclaiming back my entire self again as a maturer adult I see how a lot of people are still stuck on these roles that they have lied themselves into literary.
It is even more sad to watch their kids be victims of these roles over again. Unfortunately for the Swedish “neutral” minded majority I also see how they still freeze uncomfortably at my sudden “perceived” free-mindedness. They just don’t know which way to look or how to handle me at times poor imbeciles. But I have grown immune to their general subconscious judge-mentality by now. I have had years and years of training. Always resisting and building a stronger skin out of the inoculated toxicity in the background while they ignored me or were trying hard to.
This meant I could say and think anything I please including the most forbidden words without any personal association since my well vaccinated stronger skin serves as a stable boundary protecting my sacred self from their filth. All their open or hidden belittling words fall down like weak useless arrows against my resistant and strong shield. As we know, the most forbidden word in Sweden (if not in the whole world) right now is off course…. You know? The word we must NOT pronounce. And definitely not in the presence of the people who we have made it represent. This “bad” word is so frightening that a simple swede can literally faint by thinking about it. So have a seat before you read further I recommend
Yep! You guessed it. The n word! The “N word” when pronounced in Swedish is almost lethal. Let me therefor again properly inform the world that there is a popular cookie named after this very controversial word here in Sweden. This special cookie has even got an official national day as I mentioned which is on the11th of this month. It is called “Neger boll” = (nigger ball) in a sort of humanly Swedish way off-course. Believe it or not the cookie is actually very tasty since it is made out of a lot of chocolate and NOT out of a lot of niggers. I mean yes the cookie does very much look like the well known “Swedish meat ball” in shape and size, but relax our meat balls are not made out of niggers either. Actually our meat balls are made mostly out of pigs. I mean real pigs, not Swedish white men.
Anyway, as one can imagine the name of this cookie has off-course caused great civil unrest and discomfort in the debates over the years recently. How civilised and tedious does one expect the wild Swedish vikings need to be? Why in the hell would these snow barbarian want to re-name this delicacy as “chocolate ball” or “coconut roll” ans. when they can eat, degrade another race, fart and burp loud all at once? Barbarism is their true nature after all. I am not joking when I say that these kind of jargons resonates too accurately with way too many backward striving wilfully retarded Swedish folks unfortunately
It is in fact so that very “traditional” swedes persistently insist on calling this delicacy by it’s so called “right n word name” while modern population want to wilfully evolve beyond the infantile drama around the controversial name. Only to evade the shame and “guilty” embarrassments off course. Two very divided Swedish opinions and behaviours about the name of a delicacy as you can tell. To me this is nothing but pure entertainment
You could imagine the tense awkwardness when trying to order this poor cookie while at the cafeteria?….I mean…. you can clarely hear the sound of tiny insects and bird whistles from the nearest woods around town out of the silence that results in pronouncing the name of this very controversial cookie. Seriously!? Everyone freezes in awkward silence while others start staring at the wall like it had just been repainted and can only dry if you look at it very, very intensely.
I don’t understand why the swedes are so full of BS and double moral towards themselves and the rest of the world honestly? This word is so loaded with tension when it is verbalised that it makes an islamist terrorist screaming “allawakber” in a crowd look like a goofy “Teddy bear” in comparison. People with health issues could literally die of heart attacks when hearing it come out of its repressed subconscious dark place literary. It’s as if it has been locked and hidden from the world with thick bars and several locks. Lord!!!
If the word itself had legs it would run for its life in an eternal escape. Anything is better than ever being repressively captive in a humanitarian swedes dirty old mind. So my point for addressing this awkward issue is really an attempt to free this poor word out of its shameful corner in our collective minds. I strongly believe this issue is best addressed by us than by those “it” clowns arguing about its relevance or not on our behalf. So I have made a list of 12 reasons why and how we can do this and thereby also free ourselves from this deranged circus drama. Here’s the list
How to deal with the n word
1) Ok, firstly we all know the n word or negro means black in latin, Spanish or whatever language it derived from, but we all also know what it represented in history and that heavy loaded baggage it carries. Some may want to pretend that this baggage doesn’t exist and I tell you … let them pretend. The more pretence the more comedy for us? If I have anyone here with ambitions in comedy film or anything like that then here is your source of inspo (Get experimenting and please do let me know I rarely refuse laughters 🙂 However leave the baggage. It is not ours to carry at all. It belongs where it is. In history that is.
2) The slaves that were subjects to this evil cruelty in the past did not die and suffer in vain they are our heroes/heroines on which almost the entire western prosperity is built from. This is fact. Let’s therefore consciously choose to remember them as that. As holy African ancestors since they lived and died (unwillingly but) in similar manner to Jesus Christ in fact (Yes, Christ too was brown/black) Their lessons are our wisdom and wisdom is the source of great wealth. Use it
3) The belittling connotation to the n word was used to describe our heroic people and make them appear as less worthy, unimportant, un-rememberable and dehumanised in the lowest forms. But we all know that was not what they were. They were survivors of the most humiliating brutal and abusive form of oppressions. They were never allowed to tell their stories openly but their struggles and pains have left the world great riches that they themselves never advantaged from. Political speaking, nor have their families. Therefore if any retrospective focus should be casted on slavery, it should be on how reparation is paid to rebuild their communities instead of helping society hide and taboo this very painfully loaded word. And believe me when I say that reparation is not “begged” for. It will automatically be due to take when victory is won, so get grinding for victory first. That is the only real way out of mental oppression/slavery. Oftentimes it feels the n word is mostly forbidden in order to shush these sensitive discussions because of fear of white guilt rather than out of genuine concerns for black folks. Which is why I like to un-shush it and help us dig it out properly of it’s shaming roots from our collective minds. So do continue to dig on but be careful of blaming angrily as it is totally contra productive. In case you forgot, the slaveowners are long dead by now. All you can do now is change things. So get changing and start with you and yours
4) The n word was given to the slaves/captives without their or our permissions nor choice and it was not their language either. It was a name that got loaded with brutality and degradation by the slave masters. Now that slavery is over “they” can simply have it back if they want to. We don’t need it (for survival) anymore? They can do whatever they want to do with it. In-fact even name a cookie with it if they want to. Just like our amazing humanitarians the swedes, children of the barbarically strong vikings that eat, degrade, fart and burp loudly all at once.:-/ It is their choice how they want to handle it or what trick they want to perform at the circus to impress none but themselves at the end of the day. Why should we care? It was never ours and still isn’t. Consequently and eventually they will come to realise that all the power they ever had was just that. While we will move on to other things more interesting. Specially if we already have named and defined our own heroes in the past, present and future. No need for more definitions. Anyone is welcomed to join our own definition but we don’t have to argue nor agree with them further on this. So you see there’s no need to dedicate your valuable time or attention to their immature ways. Everyone in this world are after all free to achieve their goals in life, even if that goal is becoming a 100% solid asshole.
5) Now the question is: Who is most bothered that this word is so offensive then? Well, we never offended or enslaved the people that slave. So why should we hide this sensitive term? Who does it discomfort if it doesn’t discomfort us anymore? Repeat the latter question and think for your self if you need to. Does it discomfort you still? Then you need to investigate why and go back through point 1-4 again. Repeat over again if necessary until you understand. Otherwise (even as a black person) don’t shush or forbid the rest of us to discuss this word openly because of your own discomfort. We did not enslave nor degrade anyone and have every right and liberty to dig it up in order to work through it and understand it for what it really is. I advise you to read some history books and make time to heal from the personal association. Your ancestors have already suffered enough on your behalf. Thank, respect and honour them. They would NOT have liked you too still be suffering today. Trust me. They would in fact be proud to see you strong and dust it off your shoulders as you continue to grow while the “wannabe” abusers shrink powerless
6) Some times, I think that maybe the whole community need to go to therapy and learn to cope with what actually happened in history rather than prohibiting words for our accounts? Don’t you agree? I am serious. Cause I don’t understand why we should be treated with awkwardness for speaking about the n word? Anyway don’t let their guilt rub on you if you need to discuss it. It is not yours always remember that until it becomes a permanently fresh memory
7) We can also thank black mens double standards in hiphop culture for using this word similar to former slaveowners.That is to degrade, offend and curse on to each other, yet they get offended when white men use the word but support white feminists in prohibiting it. How is this serving our community positively? Get over your selves and your exclusive exploitations rights of this word sissies. Stop the double standard and fake fragility please. pffft!
8) I guess many of us may always still react slightly surprised or shocked at the sudden arrival of this magic word in any context and maybe it will take its time for it to be totally neutral. But always stay cool and keep total control of your emotions. If you ever wonder how to correctly address it with an ignorant creature craving your attention like a two year old then my answer is to simply ignore the creature. As a mom, my advice and motto is: Not your baby not your problem. (You can care, help and inform but at the end of the day you are not eligible to raise other peoples kids)
9) If you are still struggling then give this new perspective time to settle in and go through these facts from point till point while you take short breathing/meditation pauses in between. The meditation could just be about 1 minute long. Breath in your own healthy word and let go of the old enemies brainwashed abusive words. Repeat and repeat. The next step is to consciously use your own language that better define you and is easy for everyone to adapt. Continue to cleanse your system of any foreign diminishing words until it has 0 impact on you. I am not saying repress it or forbid it. I am saying disown it. Define your own self. Be true to yourself you are not a victim. You may still be afraid of the n word or the unknown and the new. But fear is oftentimes just a lie and always gives your enemy the advantage to control you. Eliminate it immediately by conquering your fears. Take back your control and take time to really know who you are and learn to truly appreciate that person unconditionally. You are a gift to the world so be present here and be aware where you are heading now. It is not towards the past but towards a future with all sorts of possibilities.
10) Take a deep breath again and check how you feel? Repeat if necessary and be brutally honest with your self. Use the facts I provided or why not find more facts from history books? Remember to be conscious when reading history books because most of them are after all written or influenced by the mentality of slave owners (enemies) and they referred and wanted the whole world to refer to their captives as niggers/slaves. And as enemies they will off course use this classic dirty tactic as used in all “war imprisonment” cases. That is to degrade and devalue their opponents in their own narratives. Nothing personal, just human ugly (war minded) nature. Does it apply to you personally today? No. You are nor captive nor a slave but free to build whatever new ways suits you best. Isn’t that empowering to realise? Use it. It is a possibility
11) I would like to warn and advise that you don’t need to involve children in this practice. If you your self are freed psychologically from what the n word associates with then the word will naturally become neutral to all children around you too. If or when they ask more incisively, you can enlighten them from your own enlightened perspectives so they don’t have to learn it from other people (their enemies) that don’t care about them. Or be forbidden to use it due to the collective guilt left behind. Your neutral and healthy perspectives are far better explanations. The more healthy and balanced you are about it the more you are able to guide or explain to them free from drama. The more clearly they understand the more resistant they will become to any associations with it’s abusiveness
12) Lastly, by no means does this means that the N word is ok for adults or children to use in their everyday vocabulary as if nothing just because you have become more neutral about it. It is still an ugly poor word but you don’t have to be responsible for how people use it or feel about it anymore. You are free. And more importantly you or your children don’t have to feel bothered wether it is or is not forbidden. All you can do is to inform your self and them what it was intended for and that they don’t have to carry someone else’s baggage. Best way to exemplify this desirable behaviour is off course by demonstrating your own healthy resistance from the crap.
I hope you’ve found this helpful and empowering. If so, then why not help me help more by sharing it with more people in following ways?
- A) Share it or use it to help someone/some people you might know and IF it helps them then don’t forget to refer them to this page for more information. I will be writing more about self empowerment, so they might find it useful and supportive in their progress? I am mainly writing this because the condition or mental suffering that black children/people go through today is not diagnosed, recognised or correctly admitted in our societies and can’t therefore be correctly treated by those unknowingly contributing to it’s cause in the first place. Discussions of these kind are often silenced, tabooed or even misused by victim minded people due to the guilt felt by those pretending to care for our kids and folks. So even if my work is not for you seek and reach out to others like yourselves and start discussing this topics to air out the toxicity and build new reenforcing ways. Not with a focus to blame or victimise and pity yourself but with the aim to heal and recover back all your power. Moving on to a better life is after all the best revenge
- B) Another way to help me help is to recommend me as a speaker/motivator on this subject for any smaller workshops, community, organisation or school programs you think I would be suitable for. Or maybe other groups you think would benefit positively from my way of going about this issue
- C) You can also just follow me for more free inspiration, information and motivation that can elevate your/our collective consciousness and wellbeing both spiritually and aesthetically. The more conscious and powerful we are the better for our greater society
- D) If none of these apply to you then keep calm and follow my website/page for more interesting, personal and unique fashion styles
Stay pure, happy and inspired.
Bless!